Sellevision: A Novel

By Augusten Burroughs

The hilarious first novel via the number one bestselling writer of Running with Scissors, Dry, A Wolf on the Table, and You larger no longer Cry, Sellevision is Augusten Burrough's darkly humorous and enormously exciting skewering of a truly home-shopping channel.

Welcome to the realm of Sellevision, America's leading retail broadcasting community. whilst Max Andrews, the a lot enjoyed and good-looking (that is, lonely and homosexual) host of a "Toys for toddlers" phase, by accident exposes himself in entrance of hundreds of thousands of youngsters, Sellevision faces its first great scandal. As Max struggles to discover a brand new activity in tv, the preferred and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping drugs and consuming seriously, she fails to note that her husband is spending loads of time with the younger babysitter who lives round the corner. Then there is Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast goes nowhere till she pronounces their dating on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed global, Sellevision is "an absolute howl . . . depraved enjoyable" (New York day-by-day News).

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Com topic: Re: Too stable for me, huh? whereas Peggy Jean does learn all of her e mail, it’s most unlikely for her to answer in my opinion to every and each individual. for this reason, she has requested me to write down you on her behalf and thanks in your style phrases and for taking the time to put in writing. Peggy Jean hopes that you just proceed to get pleasure from Sellevision and she or he appears ahead to procuring with you sooner or later. It then happened to her that Zoe will not be a stranger in any respect, yet one of many different hosts. A disgruntled host. maybe a bunch who were lately fired? Max had regularly acted unusual round her. What was once it approximately him? He used to be so . . . chuffed. Happy-go-lucky Max. Peggy Jean bit her lip. It made feel. Max was once gay, in spite of everything. and people homosexuals have been consistently maintaining offended marches or demonstrations and sporting wooden symptoms. let alone these pink ribbons they continuously wore. Blood-red ribbons. They have been so confrontational. Peggy Jean shivered as a sit back went down her backbone. the sorrowful yet real truth of existence used to be that no longer every body used to be a great Christian. She must provide this “Max/Zoe factor a few extra concept. W hat the hell are you telling me, Howard? Hmmm? ” Leigh used to be blinking again tears, fingers folded tightly throughout her chest, daring Stampato bracelet layered on her arm with a sterling Greek Key two-inch-wide cuff. Howard, sitting at his table, used to be attempting to clarify the meaninglessness of the 2 American airways round-trip tickets from Philadelphia to St. Barts that the go back and forth division had simply brought to him. the outside on his face used to be gentle and moisturized from a day facial. Explaining the journey he used to be taking together with his spouse had grew to become out to be extra complex than he had expected. yet what did he imagine? That Leigh could wrap her hands round him and say, “I comprehend, darling”? “Leigh—honey—it’s no longer what it sort of feels like. I swear—I’m going to increase the divorce the instant we come back, perhaps even at the aircraft experience domestic. ” Leigh used to be nonetheless status throughout from him along with her eyes proficient at the ceiling. “Look, Leigh, i admire you, it’s you that i like. It’s simply that if I don’t take this journey along with her, it’ll make every little thing worse. She’s at risk of explode and contest the divorce. yet giving her an opportunity to chill, beforehand—it’s a method, Leigh, that’s all it is—a process. ” “This is simply so . . . ” Leigh used to be suffering to keep up her composure, suffering not easy to not easily choose the onyx-handled letter opener up off his table and plunge it into his neck. “. . . i think, I don’t recognize, used. this can be simply now not what i need for myself. ” emerging from his chair and going over to Leigh, Howard—gently, slowly—placed his fingers on her shoulders. She seemed clear of him. “Leigh, I suggest it whilst I let you know that this is often for the simplest, it’s for us. belief me, please? Don’t surrender on us, Leigh. ” “So how lengthy are you going to be away? ” “It’s only for every week, child, that’s all—a week. ” “And you swear that you’ll inform her after? ” Wrapping Leigh in his hands, he held her tight. “Yes, convinced, I promise with all my middle .

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