By Martin Olson, Tony Millionaire, Mahendra Singh
A travel de strength of darkness, Encyclopaedia of Hell is a handbook of Earth written by way of Lord devil for his invading hordes of demons, entire with thousands of disagreeable illustrations, diagrams, and a complete and completely repulsive dictionary of Earth terms.
Since the customs and mores of humanity are alien and impossible to demons, devil wrote this unusually poetic army instruction manual for the enlightenment and edification of his demon armies. A masterpiece expressing Satan's hatred for humanity and himself, the Encyclopaedia comprises "Techniques of Stalking and consuming Humans," "Methods of Canning Human Pus," and "Dicing and cutting Orphaned Children."
Why the invasion? over the last century specifically, Hell has develop into heavily overcrowded. devil wishes extra land mass for the damned and to exploit the human cattle to feed his hungry demon invaders.
Since this publication is the 666th commemorative version, this Encyclopaedia includes detailed commemorative material.
Martin Olson's savage wit offers the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished on account that Mark Twain passed—channeling the true voice of devil. over the last fifteen years, Olson has written and produced 9 comedy specials, inflicted at the population through CBS, HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and A&E.
Quick preview of Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It PDF
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Extra resources for Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It
2. The Sum of All Equations within the Cosmos. See Loneliness; arithmetic. remark by way of ASMO DEUS 0 is the Mathematical Vat during which All Numbers churn, boil and bubble within the Cosmic Stew of Latent, Invisible Potentiality. 0 is the Slutty Cosmic Virgin, the Chaste Promiscuous volume containing inside of its Paradoxical Womb the Sum overall of All and not anything. To Demons, the Cosmic 0 is the top precept, having reached Perfection within the excellent brain His Majesty devil, Lord of Hell, from which All Exquisitely Void Evil Beings Spring. ninety eight statement by way of ZYK in regards to the thought of Naught and its smarmy anthropomorphism, I supply the next recursive verse: We could appear to create a Mythic God via spotting His lifestyles For something which are suggestion Has had crouching latent being within the limitless capability of every thing: If anything is assumed, it truly is If even one brain observes itself Then the Cosmos has intelligence So it really is with the quantity zero Who circles approximately infinitely Like a idiot in love with life Retracing and re-experiencing the trail of its personal being And figuring out that its limitations even supposing countless surround in simple terms the endlessness Of its personal which means 0 inhabitants development (zē rō pŏp yū lā shən grōth) n. an idea from Hell invented to obliterate the Tumorous progress of Humanity. That Which Seals in and Unleashes the Detestable ZIPPER (zi pər) n. Mechanism which seals within the vagina and unleashes the penis. Circle of fantasy ZODIAC (zō dē ăk) n. A galactic arm wafting round the Earth and wrapping it in a cloak of attractiveness and superstition. ZOO (zū) n. 1. a cheerful position the place people imprison wild animals in city blight the place childrens torture them. 2. Animal penitentiary the place the single parole is demise. ZYK OF ASIMOTH (zēk əv ăz ə môth) n. Poet Laureate of Hell, Poet in place of dwelling on the college of Hell, and ancient pupil on Hell Antiquities, focusing on historical Earth and Its Evils. As leader Editor for My Invasion handbook, Zyk used his talents as Hell’s so much hideous Poet to offer many incomprehensible human options in verse, as a way to make Mankind’s galvanized strangeness extra palatable and not more anxious to the archly polarized Hordes of Demon Invaders. After time-traveling to Earth to investigate this publication, Zyk’s future has turn into inextricably associated with that of the blasphemous Demon Pioneer Abra Kadab (q. v. ). It used to be Zyk who battled and lay waste to Kadab on the Space-Time Nexus of the Crucifixion of Earth’s prophet Jesus. yet extra pointedly, Zyk was once created not just to enhance My handbook for the enlightenment of the Invading Forces, yet to help the right expression of this very second, the finishing of this Black quantity. For with a view to create Suspense and Terror within the Minds of My Invading Legions, this Manual’s vast pastiche of mundane and cosmic phrases concerning the scary Conundrum of Humanity’s lifestyles can't finish with the hammering dido of Mundane truth. It needs to in its place finish with the sensual caress of Mysterious Promise, a horror which means yet doesn't demonstrate, an apprehension which emotes yet doesn't outline.