CollegeHumor: The Website. The Book.

The purpose is that once I awakened this morning, it was once brass. How does that even ensue? I didn’t pay $52,400 for my diamond to head opposite Rumpelstiltskin. you recognize what? simply supply me a taking a look glass. My child will not be at liberty approximately this. ok, hello. The having a look glass broke. i feel what did it was once my baby’s high-pitched agonized scream whilst he learned he used to be getting a reflect rather than that 4-karat diamond. Do infants even like something except mockingbirds and diamonds? you recognize what, high quality. simply get me a Billy Goat from the Goat aisle. No, I don’t want any gruff with that. Jesus Christ. i've got a question. What use does my child have for a Billy Goat that won’t pull? evidently you haven't met my child. My child has a wide number of heavy steel items, and he wishes them continually relocated. you think that he can do it himself? He’s a Goddamn child! glance, simply allow me alternate the goat for this cart and bull. My child has items to be transported, and he doesn’t have all day. good, I’m joyful I stored the receipt. That cart and bull hadn’t even made one complete journey whilst it grew to become correct over. Shoddy alignment. you could think how my child felt, seeing his huge number of copper stream money valves and stainless-steel tubing tumble into the dust. am i able to simply get a puppy in its place? hear conscientiously: it has to be a puppy that's already named Rover, ahead of my buy. definite, I’m severe – my child is aware what he likes and he doesn't fuck round. simply close up and get me your manager. Why? as the puppy won’t bark. Did you increase him with the mockingbird? Do you simply promote mute animals? Does whatever during this fucking shop paintings? close your mouth! I’m working out of recommendations right here. I count on no difficulty changing this puppy, logically, for a horse and cart. this is often your final likelihood to revive my baby’s religion in advertisement exchange! hi. glance, i used to be going to hurricane in the following and yell at you concerning the horse and cart (which fell down, what a shock! ), yet that’s no longer vital now. i purchased a cradle from you a number of months in the past, and also you advised me it used to be treetop-safe. good bet what, the wind blew, the cradle rocked, the bough broke, and down got here the child, cradle and all. lengthy tale brief: he died. So I won’t be making any further exchanges. additionally, have you learnt the place the closest Salvation military is? i've got like twelve onesies that I don’t want to any extent further. If web pages have been Pets by way of Caldwell Tanner fb type of tense, and taking care of it takes up extra of a while than you’d wish to admit. YOUTUBE enjoyable to observe, and extremely stable at squandering precious time. MYSPACE You haven’t checked on it in years, how is it nonetheless alive? 4CHAN a bit fun, but in addition kinda gross REDTUBE Whoa, I’m lovely certain that factor provide you with a ton of viruses if you’re no longer cautious, dude. GOOGLE trustworthy, and never more likely to abandon you every time quickly (you hope). BING reliable at taking part in fetch, yet possibly not so good as your different puppy. The mind's eye Of Wendell Blatt As He is going Trick or Treating via Jake Hurwitz and Streeter Seidell Cynthia hiya examine Wendell strolling down the road by myself, he’s so courageous.